A Date of Godlike Proportions by Tellulah Darling
(The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #2.5)
Publication date: December 20th 2013
Genres: Comedy, Mythology, Young Adult
Blurb:There’s bound to be pressure when it takes 2500 years to get to a second date. Which is exactly why Theo Rockman, a.k.a. Prometheus, would rather not go. With his best friend gravely injured and the fate of humanity still on the line, Theo has all sorts of creative excuses to avoid dating swoon-worthy god and love of his life, Hephaestus.
YA romantic comedy gets an epic mythological twist in the free (at select retailers) short story A Date of Godlike Proportions (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy Book 2.5). Being human hasn’t killed Theo, but this date just might.
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Excerpt:Great. The cavalry had arrived. I flicked my gaze over to my other best friend Hannah, staring at me incredulously from her position in the doorway, where she had joined Festos.
Festos patted Hannah on the shoulder affectionately before edging past her to leave.
I reluctantly tore my eyes from his retreating figure to meet her bemused gaze.
Allies. That’s what I needed. “There’s too much at stake right now—like your future for example—for us to be going out on a—”
She flapped a hand at me. “Get dressed.”
I looked down at what I was wearing. Which was basically what I always wore. A long-sleeved black T-shirt and baggy black pants. “I’m dressed.”
Hannah rolled her eyes. “Pierce,” she called out.
Her boyfriend trotted into the room at her call. “Yeah, love?”
Hannah pointed to a spot in front of me. “Stand there and look pretty, so this idiot gets the picture.”
Pierce nodded. He got into position and, with a toss of his blond tousled head, adopted the most pouty model boy expression imaginable. He winked at me, obviously amused.
Hannah blinked at him. “Whoa. That’s pretty … pretty.”
“Down, Saul,” I said. “Besides, he’s the God of Love. I’m sure there’s some kind of inherent pretty built into his DNA. With me?” I cast a skeptical look down at myself. “Festos knows what he’s getting.”
Pierce pulled up a desk chair and turned it around to straddle it.
Hannah kicked my legs away so she could sit down on the bed next to Sophie. She picked her friend’s hand up to clasp between her own. Her lip quivered as she stared at her friend but she quickly replaced any concern with a determined glare my way.
She crossed her legs and leaned forward toward me. “Have you seen that boy’s room? It’s like a hurricane went off in there. He’s going nuts trying to find the perfect outfit for this special event and you can’t even get changed?” She tucked a strand of her blond hair behind her ear.
I swung my head in Sophie’s direction. “Did you not notice your bestie lying there unconscious?”
Her hand tightened on Sophie’s. “Don’t be an idiot. Or drag Soph into this. We’re here. Nothing else is going to happen to her. She needs to heal. And don’t pull any of that ‘fate of the universe’ crap either. It’s one night. So, next excuse. I’ll shoot that down too.”
I closed my eyes. There was silence for a blessed moment.
“You feel guilty, don’t you?” She spoke softly.
I shrugged, my eyes still closed.
I felt her make the sign of the cross over me. “I absolve you of guilt, Prometheus.”
I gave a faint smile. “I’m not Catholic.”
“Well, I have no idea how to absolve a Greek God.”
“Titan,” I murmured. “And I’m not even that anymore.”
About the author:Tellulah Darling
1. YA Novelist
2. Alter ego of former screenwriter and instructor
3. Sassy minx
Geeks out over: cool tech.
Squees for: great storytelling.
Delights in: fabulous conversation.
Writes about: where love meets comedy. Awkwardness ensues.
Check her out:
10 Things You Didn't Know About Tellulah Darling
1) I am too lazy to learn songs properly, choosing instead to just fit whatever word seems closest to the phonetic sound I hear. This means that nothing I sing makes any logical sense. However, they are all wildly creative. Every once in a while I actually figure out what the words are supposed to be and realize how much sense the song now makes. What's funny is that there are certain songs I'm suck in a perpetual loop with. I learn what they are, promptly forget and go back to my nonsense, and then have that deja vu moment when I understand them again. Maybe I was dropped on my head as a child.
2) I love to travel but hate flying. As a result, I spent much of my life gripping the arms of my airplane seat while whispering "please don't fall" for hours on end. Happily, my doctor informed me a couple years ago (while staring at me like I was an idiot upon hearing how I coped) that since my way didn't work, I might want to try drugs. Miracles of modern science, indeed!
3) Speaking of travel–the first time I went to Italy, I was 15 yrs old. We were in Heathrow waiting for our flight to Rome and I'd fallen asleep stretched out across the chairs at the departure area. I woke up to the sight of the Italian National Football (Soccer) team seated around me. Even at that tender age, I was partial to that particular flavour of man candy. So I shot up and might have tried to shove my little brother under a seat in an attempt to look like a worldly solo traveller. Yeah, right. I wish you all a similar wake up call with *insert group of hot men of your choice*.
4) I was a professional screenwriter for 12 years. Crazy things happen in writers' rooms. On one of my favourite shows to work on, the showrunner and I plotted out the entire season arc's battle using Smurfs. This was for a kids' show. We'd renamed them with our characters' names and did their voices and everything. On another, not a kids' show, there was an actual meeting to discuss the star's wife's Playboy photos. There can be this intimidating mystique around film and television. Don't believe any of it.
5) I forget that my husband is one of my followers on Twitter. This leads to a lot of head shaking when I've been a bit too vigorous discussing hot guys - fictional or otherwise and steamy reads. I try to push the excuse that it's simply ways of interacting with social media friends and readers. I think I’ve gotten away with it but I’m not sure because I am no longer able to make eye contact with him.
6) I hold a Masters' Degree in Film Theory. Yes, you read that right. In watching movies. Okay, and criticizing them. Possibly the most useless degree known to mankind. Not only that, I did my Master's thesis on Gender and Spectatorship in the animation of Chuck Jones. Which means that I watched Bugs Bunny Cartoons for two years. My family despaired. They used to lie and say I was studying journalism. I share this with you so that if your family gives you any grief about your area of study, you can use me as an example of how it could be so much worse. You're welcome.
7) I think that the right shade of lipstick and a great head of hair can be a woman's finest accessory. Who's with me here?
8) I think the world needs more choreography. I have a constant soundtrack in my head and like to tap dance my way through the day. Which in my head comes off like a brilliant Gene Kelly-esque routine. I take no responsibility for how it looks in reality. Obviously, you all just need to see things in my special way.
9) I love my Kindle because it allows me to read my steamy romances to my heart's content without the constant judging I get from haters who obviously are down on love. I've found that if I nod my head sagely whilst reading, people think I'm engrossed in some deep literary classic and perhaps feel bad for not reading such a weighty tome themselves. I feel no guilt for this. I've had too many years of snotty reactions to all the genre reading I've done.
10) Since I write romantic comedies, I'll share a couple of my favs with you. Book: Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie. This is the smexiest book around. (Ha - autocorrect wanted it to be the smelliest book around.) Film: When Harry Met Sally and The Princess Bride. Don't make me choose. It could get ugly.
Thanks so much for having me! And if anyone wants to chat books, romcom or otherwise, let's friendvite on Goodreads or email me on my site www.tellulahdarling.com.
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